The Photographer

I’ve had enough.

No, don’t try to reason with me, this is too much.

I
will try not to think of you when I wake up in the morning and ask
myself if somehow you are also awake. I have my own life to lead and my
own life to think of. No, I won’t even think of you while I’m eating my
lunch wondering if you’re doing the same thing, because sooner or later
I know you will.

No, never again will I go to the comfort room
and lock myself in just to have some privacy to piteously think of you,
cry, sing or do some silly things because of you. And no, never will I
again think of you last when I go to sleep. Sleep is my only rest, so
please don’t plague me in my dreams.

I am moving on.

I’ll try to wake up in the morning and smile and think not of why you left but that once you stayed.

And
if I feel the need to cry, it will not be for the future that we could
have, not for the regrets that I have nor of the anger that i feel, but
I will cry because of a love that I never was able to share with the
one girl I felt it for. I will cry for the love that was lost, and not
for the girl who left.

I will give my affections to any girl who
is need of it, but not my heart because I still am trying to get it
back from you. I will give her the love that you never wanted, the kiss
that I so longed to give you and the words that once was yours. Worthy
or not worthy of it, at least she’s here, you’re not.

I’ll try to hold back the tears when I think of you. I’ll just try to smile.

I am moving on… and hoping that the next thing would be letting go.

You can’t be all things to all people
You can’t do all things at once
You can’t do all things equally well
You can’t do all things better than anyone else
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else

So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that
You have to decide what comes first, and do that
You have to discover your strengths, and use them
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of "Being you"

Then:
You will learn to accept your own uniqueness
You will learn to set priorities and make decisions
You will learn to live with your limitations
You will learn to give yourself respect that is due
And you’ll be a most vital mortal

Dare to Believe:
That you are a wonderful and unique person
That you are once-in-all history event
That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish
And you’ll be able to stay up on what used to get you down

At a certain college, there was a professor with a reputation for being tough on Christians.  At the first class every semester, he asked if anyone was a Christian and proceeded to degrade and mock their statement of faith.        One semester, he asked the question and a young man raised his hand when asked if anyone was a Christian.  The professor asked, "Did God make everything, young man?"

"Yes he did, sir," the young man replied.

The professor responded, "If God made everything, then God made evil, and if we can only create from within ourselves, then God is evil."

The student didn't have a response and the professor was happy to have once again proved the Christian faith to be a myth.Then another man raised his hand and asked, "May I ask you something, sir?"        "Yes you may," responded the professor.        The young man stood up and said, "Sir, is there such thing as cold?"

Of course there is, what kind of a question is that?  Haven't you ever been cold?"       The young man replied, "Actually, sir, cold does not exist. What we consider to be cold, is really only the absence of heat.  Absolute zero is when there is absolutely no heat, but cold does not really exist. We have only created that term to describe how we feel when heat is not there."The young man continued, "Sir, is there such thing as dark?"Once again, the professor responded "Of course there is."And once again, the student replied "Actually, sir, darkness does not exist.  Darkness is really only the absence of light.  Darkness is only a term man developed to describe what happens when there is no light present."        Finally, the young man asked, "Sir, is there such thing as evil?"        The professor responded, "Of course. We have rapes, and murders and violence everywhere in the world, those things are evil." The student replied, "Actually, sir, evil does not exist.  Evil is simply the absence of God.

Evil is a term man developed to describe the absence of God.  God did not create evil.  It isn't like truth, or love, which exist as virtues like heat and light.  Evil issimply the state where God is not present, like cold without heat or darkness without light."

The professor had nothing to say.

People call me "Tree".

I had dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U.

There’s one gal who I love a lot but never dared to go after.

She didnt have a pretty face, or good figure, nor an outstanding charm.

She was just a very ordinary gal. liked her. I really liked her.

I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility.

Reason for not going after her was because I felt somebody so ordinary like
her was not a good match for me.

I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish.

I was also afraid other’s gossip would hurt her.

I felt that if she were my gal, she’d be mine ultimately & I didn’t have to
give up everything just for her.

The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years.

She watched me chase other gals, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She was a good actress and me a
demanding director.

When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.

She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off.

The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut.

I didn’t want to know what caused her to cry.

Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched
her cry in the classroom for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn’t like her.

There was once when both of them quarreled.

I know that based on her character she’s not the type that will start off
the quarrel.

But I still sided my girlfriend.

I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.

The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened.

I know she was hurt but she didn’t know deep down inside I was hurt too.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.

Later that day, I told her I had something to
tell her.

I told her about my break up.

Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting
together.

I knew who the guy was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School.

I didnt show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes.

Once I reached home, I couldn’t breath.

Tears rolled & I broke down.

How many times have I seen her cry for the man who didnt acknowledge her
presence?

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp.

It said, "Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit.

Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay……"

Leaf
===

People call me Leaf.

During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy
kind.

But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have
learnt - Jealousy.

Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months.

When they broke up, I hid my
happiness.

But after a month, he got together with another gal.

I liked him & I know he liked me.

But why won’t he pursue me?

Since he loves me why he didn’t he make the first move?

Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.

After some time, I began to suspect that this was one sided love.

If he didnt like me, why did he treat me so well?

It’s beyond what you will normally do for a friend.

I know his likes, his habits.

But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.

You can’t expect me a gal to ask him.

Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side.

Care for him, accompany him, and love him.

Hoping that one day, he will come to love me.

Because of this, I waited for him.

Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting.

The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.

At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me.

Everyday he
pursues me.

He’s like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree.

In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my
heart.

I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land.

Finally leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn’t ask me to
stay.

Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit.

Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay……

Wind
====

Because I like a gal called leaf.

Because she’s so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind.

A wind that will blow her away.

When I first met her, it was 1 month after I transfer to the new school.

I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer.

During ECA time, she will always be sitting there.

Be it alone or with her friends looking at him.

When he talks with gals there’s jealousy in her eyes.

When he looked at her, there’s a
smile in her eyes.

Looking at her became my habit.

Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn’t appear. I felt something amissed.

I can’t explain the feeling except it’s a kind of uneasiness.

The senior was also not there as well.

I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my seniors colding her.

Tears were in her eyes while he left.

The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him.

I walked over and smiled to her.

Took out a note & gave to her.

She was surprised.

She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note.

The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.

Leaf’s heart is too heavy and wind couldn’t blow her away.

It’s not that leaf heart is too heavy.

It because leaf never want to leave tree.

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me
& accept my presents & phone calls.

I
know that the person she loves is not me.

But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.

Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times.

Every time, she will divert away from the topic.

But I never give up.

If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win
her over.

I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to her.

Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend.

I didn’t hear any reply from her over the phone.

I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn’t want to reply?"

She said, "I’m nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn’t believe my ears.

"I’m nodding my head" she replied loudly.

I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place &
press her doorbell.

During the moment when she opens the door, I
hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit.

Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay……

When we meet the right person to love when we're at

the right place, at the right time. That's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's

not a choice. That's

chance.

Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of

couples who get

together because of this) is not a choice, that's

also chance.

The difference is, what happens afterward? When will

you take that

infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing

attraction to the next

level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit

down and then contemplate whether you want to make

this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love the person, even with his

faults, that's not

chance. That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person no matter what,

that's choice. Even if you know there are many

people out there who are more attractive, smarter,

and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to

love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by

chance. But true love

that last is truly a choice. A choice that we make.

Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote

that I believe is

so true about this-- "Fate brings you together, but

it's still up to you to make it happen."

I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is

truly someone made

for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice

if you're going to do

something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates

by chance, but

loving and staying with our soulmate is still a

choice we have to make.

"You can only see the true colors of a human if you

taste its heart."

 

Coming from a girl…

   If you see me walking the road with someone else

   It’s not because I like his company

   Its because you’re not brave enough to walk beside me.

   If you hear me talking about him all the time

   Its not because he pleases me

   Its because you’re too deaf to hear my heartbeat

   If you feel me falling with someone new

   It’s not because I love him

   Because you’re not there to catch me if I fall

   If you feel lost, I too am nowhere

   I too don’t know where the road is going

   Are we gonna cross each other’s path

   Or just completely turn around?

   Will we just let go of what we had

   Or go to the place where love is bound

   Don’t let me walk with him

   It’s you I want to walk with

   Don’t let me talk of him

   It’s you I want to talk with

   Don’t let me fall for him

   It’s you I want to fall in love with.

The Boy’s answer:

   When you thought I wasn’t brave enough to walk beside you

   I was behind you every step of the way

   Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stands before me

   When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat

   I didn’t want to assume anything

   And I was afraid to lose our friendship

   When you thought I wasn’t there to catch you

   It was because you never gave me the chance

   You never reached the bottom, you’ve already grabbed a branch

   If you feel like you are nowhere,
I too am lost
   I too don’t know where the
road is going
   Are we just going to turn around,
   Or are we gonna cross each other’s path?

   Will we just let go of what we had

   Or go to the place where love is bound?

   Don’t let me walk alone

   I want to walk by your side

   Don’t let me talk of something else

   It’s you I want to talk with

   Don’t let me fall for someone else

 It’s you I want to fall in love with.

 

I’ll be waiting at the bus stop for my Bus..
I’ll make sure i won’t miss my Bus..
Hope my Bus will arrive soon..

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster.
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.
In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter
If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.
In front of the person you like, you cant say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.
In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.
You cant look straight into the eyes of the one you like
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you love
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
The feeling of love starts from the eye…
But the feeling of like starts from the ear…
So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover
your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains
in you heart forever…

***

The last time, I think we’d be really, really
old…Our kids would all be grown up with families of their own and you
would’ve lost your hair and I would’ve lost my 24-inch waistline.

On
that day, the sun will be shining, but I’ll be crying because the
doctor will tell me there’s nothing more they can do for you. I will
see your calm face as they cover you with a white blanket and for
a moment I will think, "Who’s gonna make sure I get home all right?"

But
then, in that hospital room, I will suddenly look up, and you’d be
there beside me looking as cute as when we were in college. "Come on,"
you will tell me. "Let’s walk home together." And I will
take your hand, stand by your side and together we’ll walk away from that hospital room.

And
that will be the last time, because from then on you wouldn’t need to
look after me because we’ll never have to leave home again.